God, please save me…from myself
Literally.
Why do I make the choice to listen to myself over God? Do I really feel I know more than God?
No.
And if you’ve been reading my entries I have already addressed that question. But I want to get to the root of the issue. Of why I lived my life so long in that mindset. And why, even now, I still fall back into sometimes.
I believe the root of this is fear. The fear to trust God is so strong that I just feel safer doing things my way. I believe what I’m really searching for is peace.
But then I wonder, is my way really the true way to peace?
No.
Romans 8:6 “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
Choose. Thankfully there are only two choices. God hasn’t made it hard to understand with all kinds of options and confusing outcomes.
As a believer, when I set my mind on the flesh then I won’t be getting peace from the Spirit. I’ll be getting fear that comes from a mind that is set in the world.
Or I can choose to set my mind on the Spirit and get life and peace. Yes, that’s what I’m looking for. I’ll take it. That sounds like a wonderful way to live. I’ll do it your way God. I’ll get started right now. I’m going to set my mind on the Spirit.
But now the question is how? How do I do that? My mind is constantly set in the world. And I’m definitely not getting God’s peace. Again a battle is happening. My way vs God’s way. And I’ve already established I absolutely want God’s way.
So then what do I do with all these worldly, prideful, and ultimately sinful thoughts?
2 Corinthians 10:5 “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”
I most certainly have an abundance of arguments and lofty opinions against God. Ok God,I’ll get to work on destroying them. But what kind of thoughts should I be thinking instead of my lofty ones? What kind of thoughts are obedient to Christ?
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
My first thought…WOW, I need a LOT of practice.
My second thought. How in the world can I be this far off in my thinking?
Maybe because my thinking is set in the world (interesting how that phrase keeps coming up). So yes, I have an abundance of lofty opinions and arguments against God to destroy. They just keep coming, over and over. Thankfully, I’ve got a clear list (and you know I love a good list) of what to replace my worldly, prideful, and sinful thoughts with. And honestly sometimes I have to literally say that list to myself. That may sound pathetic. But it’s the truth. There are times where I cannot think of any Spirit thoughts. I’ve gone too far with worldly thoughts to make it back myself. So I just start reciting the list and soon enough God gets me back.
Before I became a believer, I have to admit I’d be thinking one question at this point.
Is all this effort really worth it?
Yes.
There is nothing more worth it. Because if I’m not following God…that’s true fear. There’s zero peace without God. And if I’m not putting in the effort to follow God, then the one whom I’m actually following is the definition of fear. Choose. I can either follow God and have His peace, or follow the evil world (which includes myself) and get fear.
So we are now back to the root of what I’m searching for. Peace. God’s Peace.
John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
And I’ve found God helps me so much. He’s fully aware of my abilities. I don’t have to be perfect. I can’t be. His grace covers a very large portion of my day. It’s joyful to have the peace of God in my heart vs the fear the world gives. God doesn’t ask more of me than I’m able to do. Thankfully, he knows the mess that I am. And he still loves me. He loves me in spite of myself.
So perhaps I should change the title of this entry.
God, thank you for loving me…in spite of myself
So here it is.
Blog entry Six.
Follow God and Bake from your Heart,
Ellie