Story time ~ The road home ~ part two {volume three}
God knew this was coming, but I did not.
And praise Him for knowing my heart and getting me back home.
Fascinatingly, I was reading my original The road home entry to the women in my Bible study one night…and I knew…this isn’t it…this isn’t the end of the road.
I knew in my heart there was a part two coming. And here we are!
No regrets living by Disney! The opposite actually. It was my dream to live by Disney my entire life, and God made it come true for me!
Real estate is my hobby so it’s fun to explore places I love and live there.
I really do believe God is giving me the desires of my heart.
What a blessing to have lived places that I always wanted to try!
But now it’s time to go back home. I have deeply missed the beach area I loved so much in my original move from Ohio to the sunshine state. And for God to get me back there is well…a miracle to me.
And the reason I believe it’s a miracle is that it fits the Scripture God put on my heart a few years ago. Only God can fulfill His Mighty Word.
This move was not as much of a battle as leaving my most recent beach spot before coming to Disney, but it wasn’t easy either. Apparently the devil is quite concerned with my whereabouts to be making these moves such a struggle.
And by that, I do not mean the move itself. I am talking about the spiritual warfare as decisions about the move unfolds.
Struggle is way too weak of a word. Torture would describe my last move accurately. This one I’d say was a battle. It didn’t last as long as my previous move torment.
Why is this such an issue for the devil as to where I’ll live? I feel one reason is literally the tagline of my ministry. Sharing God’s goodness.
Even worse than that to the evil world, is for me to be spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Shining God’s light into the world is an activity that will cause great opposition in the spiritual realm. And I am a target.
Thankfully God is much bigger. Much stronger.
God IS.
God doesn’t need to try. In fact, He has already defeated evil. Evil still prowls around looking to devour us, until the end of days that is. But the devil has already been judged guilty.
Getting back to the battle in my mind. Confusion. Depletion. Doubt. Fear. Indecisiveness.
Flip flopping. And not the fun warm sunshine flip flop state of mind.
One thing I can tell you…it is not a good experience. Even for those around me who care about me. They are concerned. They pray for me. I pray for myself.
Hmmmmm.
Is that the good God is bringing from this?
God will bring good in His way and His timing. We may or may not realize the good. But it does happen at some point in some way.
God’s definition of good is many times much different than mine.
How in the world could this be good?
Well I just said it led me to more prayer. To HAVE to rely on God. I have had many opportunities in the last year or so to practice it.
2 Corinthians 1:9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
This. Exactly this.
I started to literally lay face down on the floor and pray to God more often. I started doing that at my old beach place, but not as much as I have been since living by Disney. Recently, I decided I needed something to lay my head on…besides my rug.
I have a lightweight scarf I have never once worn. Nor will I ever wear it. Not a scarf person unless I’m super extreme freezing cold (and then I need a warm scarf)(insert sad face here). So I started using this thin scarf to lay under my face.
At first, I kept the scarf in my dresser drawer. Anytime I would lay face down and pray, I’d go grab my scarf. Simple.
However, one day I just decided I’d leave it neatly on my desk behind my pile of books. I see it as I write. It’s next to my Bible. Next to my verses book.
I have come to cherish it. It’s comforting to me. I can easily reach for it and get right to praying laying on the floor.
I treasure this scarf now and would be so sad if something happened to it. Because of what it symbolizes.
Surrender.
It is the physical reminder to me of surrender.
I love that. I need reminded of that. I am very rebellious towards God. I like My way.
But I have suffered enough in life that I know God’s way is best. It’s the way I’ve committed to follow. I declare it at the end of each entry.
Follow God and…
I have written it over 200 hundred times now. Perhaps that has helped me. I am certain that this blog is a tool God has used to bring healing to my life.
I’m making another connection just now as well. When I wrote The road home entry the first time, I meant every word! I really believed this was it. I felt it with all my heart.
Feelings.
This experience has also taught me not to rely on my feelings. I am terrible at this. It could very well be one of my biggest weaknesses.
I am strangely wanting to make a list of my weaknesses. I mean you know if you are a long time reader, I love a good list. But is it a good idea to list my weaknesses for the world to read?
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
According to Scripture, yes it is.
Here we go.
Pride.
Trust.
Judgement.
Anger.
Coveting.
Discernment.
Well…
Should I write about each one now?
Hmmmmm no. I think I’ll write more about those ”qualities” and struggles of mine another time.
Wait.
See?
I’m flip flopping.
Who wouldn’t want me to write about the struggles now? I’ll give you one guess…
Let’s begin.
Pride ~ well I have written about this perhaps more than any other sin I have. I like Me. I like to listen to Me. I like to follow Me. But I love God. And I have seen what Me does to me…it’s not good for me.
Trust ~ this is also a big weakness of mine. I have struggled with trust my entire life so I am not surprised. But that old trust I’m referring to wasn’t trusting in God. That was worldly trust. Not the same…but any trust is still hard.
Judgement ~ many times I go by what I see or think I know or looks to be the case or perhaps is accurate in the moment, but is that always how this person responds…AND I have zero right to question any of those judgement ”calls”.
Anger ~ still an issue for me, but I will say this is the area I’ve had the most growth in with God’s help. I may not be outwardly angry or express it hardly anymore, but anger can/does still linger and LURK within my heart.
Coveting ~ well…yes sometimes I would like what other people have or more importantly what they “seem” to have. This is a direct insult to God and all He has given me.
Discernment ~ this is where feelings come into play. And play is a great word to describe it. It’s a game. That the devil plays in my mind. Only God’s plan and truth and His Word matters in decisions.
And we have come to the end of this story time…
Home sweet home.
Home is where the heart is.
Home is where God says it is.
So here it is.
Follow God and Write from your Heart,
Kendra